华裔父母加国育儿面临挑战
Chinese immigrants face array of parenting challenges in Canada
来源: 《大中报》记者：Catherine Machado
随着时代的变迁，我们的育儿方式也在不断改变。现代家长面临的一系列挑战似乎让20世纪的父母感到困惑。
The way we approach parenting changes with the times. The modern day parent faces an array of challenges that would seem foreign to a parent in the 20th century.
即将在今年7月迎来第三个孩子的执业导乐奥斯汀称：“育儿方式之所以发生改变，是因为整个世界不断变化。”
“Parenting is changing because everything else is,” said Kyla Austin, a practicing doula who’s anticipating her third child come July.
导乐虽非医学人士，但其却可以在产前、分娩过程乃至产后为产妇及其家人提供情感支持，生理帮助以及明智的建议。
A doula is a nonmedical person who assists families before, during and possibility even after birth through emotional support, physical assistance and words of wisdom.
《今日父母》的博客作者瓦弗曼称，现代家长面临社交媒体、两性关系、强暴、酗酒滥饮、竞争激烈的课余活动以及儿童压力越来越大等多种挑战。
Blogger Emma Wavermanfrom Today’s Parents said that modern day parents confront social media, hook-up culture, rape culture, binge drinking, hyper-competitive extra-curricular sports and children facing an increased level of stress.
瓦弗曼称：“现代父母在各个方面都力求完美。
“The modern day parent is striving for perfection in all areas,” said Waverman.
瓦弗曼表示，现代父母感觉难以为孩子提供一个完美的童年，而过去几代人似乎从未被这个问题困扰。
Waverman said that parents nowadays feel pressured to provide their children with a perfect childhood – an issue she doesn’t think past generations felt subjected to.
瓦弗曼在谈及2015年的加拿大育儿情况时称，许多家长在养育子女的过程中，一直忧虑重重。
Waverman said that when it comes to parenting in Canada in 2015 a lot of parents are raising their children whilst being in an almost constant state of worry.
瓦弗曼称：“我们对孩子的期望值可能有点过高，”她同时指出，许多家长都会将孩子的成功和失败归结为自身的成功和失败。
“We identify with our kids maybe a little too much,” said Waverman. She said that parents turn their children’s successes and failures into their own.
瓦弗曼表示：“家长之所以会感觉压力很大，难以为孩子提供一个完美的童年，主要是因为他们担心如果自己未能尽力，孩子可能将会考试不及格而退学，或是会变成痴肥儿或患上糖尿病，总之他们最终会以某种失败告终。”
“There is a lot of pressure on parents to provide a perfect childhood because they are fearful if they don’t then their kids are going to fail out of school or they’re going to be obese or they’re going to be diabetic – that they’re going to be a failure in some way,” she said.
从事导乐工作的乔丹在马来西亚长大，在移民英格兰后她开始养育两个孩子，在当地生活了大约10年后她又移居特立尼达拉岛住了10个月。
Su Yin Jordan is a doula who was raised in Malaysia then moved to England. She began to raise her two children there for roughly a decade until moving to Trinidad for 10 months.
在过去四年，乔丹一直生活在加拿大。
She has been living in Canada for the past four years.
乔丹称：“如果我还在英格兰，那我（身为父母）所面临的挑战将有所不同。”
“If I was still in England my challenges (as a parent) would be different,” said Jordan.
奥斯汀回忆称，在她过去三年的导乐生涯中，曾有两名客户 竭力探寻加拿大的育儿文化标准。
In the three years that Austin has been a doula she recalls two clients who sought out insight on the cultural norms of parenthood in Canada.
换句话说，也就是如何才能成为符合加拿大标准的完美父母。
In other words, how to be the perfect parent according to Canada.
对此乔丹称：“我们都希望能尽早融入。”
“It’s just wanting to belong,” said Jordan.
在乔丹的客户中，大多数都是从中国移民到加拿大的年轻怀孕夫妇，乔丹对他们印象深刻。
She spoke of young, pregnant couples who come to Canada from China; these are the bulk of Jordan’s clients.
据乔丹称，在加拿大导乐服务深受华裔移民的欢迎。
Jordan said that there is a big business for Chinese doulas in Canada.
乔丹同时表示，有时候一些客户前来寻求她的服务，是因为签证被拒或其他不可预见的阻碍因素，导致他们的家庭成员无法为他们提供所需的帮助。
She said that clients sometimes seek her services because they don’t have the physical support of their family members, due to denied visas or other unforeseen hiccups.
乔丹称：“当你移居到某个地方，想要被接受想要找到归属感时，你会乐于遵循当地的习惯做所有事情。”
“When you move somewhere else you want to be accepted and you want to feel like you belong so then you want to do everything like the country you are going to,” said Jordan.
乔丹称：“你决定做移民，就是因为你觉得自己和孩子能因此享受到更好的生活。”
“You’ve gone to be an immigrant somewhere else because you feel that will be a better life for you and for your children.”
但是乔丹同时也感觉大多数中国客户并未遵循加拿大的育儿方式。以她的经验来看，许多来自中国大陆的父母仍然保留着东方传统的育儿理念。
But Jordan feels that the majority of her Chinese clients do not seek to conform to Canadian ways of parenting. From her experience, the parents she has met from mainland China keep to traditions from the East.
乔丹称，有时候一些客户会向她介绍以他们的育儿方式作为典范的网站，由于她不会说写中文，因此他们常常都要乔丹参照图片和译文。
Jordan said that she has had clients who refer to websites that reference their image of the right way to parent, often pointing to pictures and translations, as Jordan doesn’t speak or write in Chinese.
虽然乔丹注意到各种文化之间存在育儿观差异，更不用说“完美”家长标准的差异，但她认为育儿观不应该按国家而论。
She does note discrepancies between being a parent, let alone a “perfect” parent, in various cultures, but she does not feel that one idea of parenting is something that should be blanketed over a country.
奥斯汀回忆称，她曾碰到一名刚刚从中国移民加拿大的客户，对方急于了解加国育儿方式，一见面就心急火燎地询问她“你们哪儿是怎么教育子女的？”
Austin recalled a client of hers who had just moved to Canada from China. The client anxiously asked her, “How do you do it (parenting) here?” .
奥斯汀称，她曾告诉许多家庭，他们应该以最适合自己孩子的教育方式养育子女，无论其是根植于国外传统，是受新文化启发，还是两者兼而有之。
Austin said she told the family that they should raise their child based on what felt right for them individually – whether that was rooted in traditions abroad, being inspired by a new culture – or both.
奥斯汀称：“是因为他们刚刚来到这里，他们非常感恩能来到加拿大，因此希望尽快适应并开始新生活。他们因为各种原因来到这里，他们选择逃离中国但同时也希望轻松融入新生活。”
“They werebecause they just came here and they were so grateful to be able to come to Canada that they wanted to sort of fit in and start a new life. They came here for various reasons, to escape some stuff that was going on in China but they also want to integrate easily,” said Austin.
奥斯汀同时表示：“当人们来到异国他乡时，总是会想要了解当地的情况，以及自己该如何适应新环境。”
“When people come to a different country they want to know what’s in here and how I am going to fit in.”
“完美”家长与其说是个人目标，还不如说是对社会压力的反应。
It seems the “perfect” parent is not as much a personal goal as it is a reaction to societal pressure.
奥斯汀称：“当每个人都试图达到一个目标时，你也会疯狂地追逐这个目标。而当你无法实现目标时，你就会拼尽全力让自己时刻保持完美。”
“Everyone is trying toget to this one placeand you’re just going to drive yourself crazy trying to reach it. You’re just going to exhaust yourself trying to be perfect all the time when you just can’t be,” said Austin.
上述三位母亲都已经看到育儿方式的改变，并打算跟上时代变迁的步伐，而一些移民家庭对此也深有同感。
All three mothers saw that parenting is changing and is going to keep changing with the times,and in some families, with a new country.
The way we approach parenting changes with the times. The modern day parent faces an array of challenges that would seem foreign to a parent in the 20th century.
即将在今年7月迎来第三个孩子的执业导乐奥斯汀称：“育儿方式之所以发生改变，是因为整个世界不断变化。”
“Parenting is changing because everything else is,” said Kyla Austin, a practicing doula who’s anticipating her third child come July.
导乐虽非医学人士，但其却可以在产前、分娩过程乃至产后为产妇及其家人提供情感支持，生理帮助以及明智的建议。
A doula is a nonmedical person who assists families before, during and possibility even after birth through emotional support, physical assistance and words of wisdom.
《今日父母》的博客作者瓦弗曼称，现代家长面临社交媒体、两性关系、强暴、酗酒滥饮、竞争激烈的课余活动以及儿童压力越来越大等多种挑战。
Blogger Emma Wavermanfrom Today’s Parents said that modern day parents confront social media, hook-up culture, rape culture, binge drinking, hyper-competitive extra-curricular sports and children facing an increased level of stress.
瓦弗曼称：“现代父母在各个方面都力求完美。
“The modern day parent is striving for perfection in all areas,” said Waverman.
瓦弗曼表示，现代父母感觉难以为孩子提供一个完美的童年，而过去几代人似乎从未被这个问题困扰。
Waverman said that parents nowadays feel pressured to provide their children with a perfect childhood – an issue she doesn’t think past generations felt subjected to.
瓦弗曼在谈及2015年的加拿大育儿情况时称，许多家长在养育子女的过程中，一直忧虑重重。
Waverman said that when it comes to parenting in Canada in 2015 a lot of parents are raising their children whilst being in an almost constant state of worry.
瓦弗曼称：“我们对孩子的期望值可能有点过高，”她同时指出，许多家长都会将孩子的成功和失败归结为自身的成功和失败。
“We identify with our kids maybe a little too much,” said Waverman. She said that parents turn their children’s successes and failures into their own.
瓦弗曼表示：“家长之所以会感觉压力很大，难以为孩子提供一个完美的童年，主要是因为他们担心如果自己未能尽力，孩子可能将会考试不及格而退学，或是会变成痴肥儿或患上糖尿病，总之他们最终会以某种失败告终。”
“There is a lot of pressure on parents to provide a perfect childhood because they are fearful if they don’t then their kids are going to fail out of school or they’re going to be obese or they’re going to be diabetic – that they’re going to be a failure in some way,” she said.
从事导乐工作的乔丹在马来西亚长大，在移民英格兰后她开始养育两个孩子，在当地生活了大约10年后她又移居特立尼达拉岛住了10个月。
Su Yin Jordan is a doula who was raised in Malaysia then moved to England. She began to raise her two children there for roughly a decade until moving to Trinidad for 10 months.
在过去四年，乔丹一直生活在加拿大。
She has been living in Canada for the past four years.
乔丹称：“如果我还在英格兰，那我（身为父母）所面临的挑战将有所不同。”
“If I was still in England my challenges (as a parent) would be different,” said Jordan.
奥斯汀回忆称，在她过去三年的导乐生涯中，曾有两名客户 竭力探寻加拿大的育儿文化标准。
In the three years that Austin has been a doula she recalls two clients who sought out insight on the cultural norms of parenthood in Canada.
换句话说，也就是如何才能成为符合加拿大标准的完美父母。
In other words, how to be the perfect parent according to Canada.
对此乔丹称：“我们都希望能尽早融入。”
“It’s just wanting to belong,” said Jordan.
在乔丹的客户中，大多数都是从中国移民到加拿大的年轻怀孕夫妇，乔丹对他们印象深刻。
She spoke of young, pregnant couples who come to Canada from China; these are the bulk of Jordan’s clients.
据乔丹称，在加拿大导乐服务深受华裔移民的欢迎。
Jordan said that there is a big business for Chinese doulas in Canada.
乔丹同时表示，有时候一些客户前来寻求她的服务，是因为签证被拒或其他不可预见的阻碍因素，导致他们的家庭成员无法为他们提供所需的帮助。
She said that clients sometimes seek her services because they don’t have the physical support of their family members, due to denied visas or other unforeseen hiccups.
乔丹称：“当你移居到某个地方，想要被接受想要找到归属感时，你会乐于遵循当地的习惯做所有事情。”
“When you move somewhere else you want to be accepted and you want to feel like you belong so then you want to do everything like the country you are going to,” said Jordan.
乔丹称：“你决定做移民，就是因为你觉得自己和孩子能因此享受到更好的生活。”
“You’ve gone to be an immigrant somewhere else because you feel that will be a better life for you and for your children.”
但是乔丹同时也感觉大多数中国客户并未遵循加拿大的育儿方式。以她的经验来看，许多来自中国大陆的父母仍然保留着东方传统的育儿理念。
But Jordan feels that the majority of her Chinese clients do not seek to conform to Canadian ways of parenting. From her experience, the parents she has met from mainland China keep to traditions from the East.
乔丹称，有时候一些客户会向她介绍以他们的育儿方式作为典范的网站，由于她不会说写中文，因此他们常常都要乔丹参照图片和译文。
Jordan said that she has had clients who refer to websites that reference their image of the right way to parent, often pointing to pictures and translations, as Jordan doesn’t speak or write in Chinese.
虽然乔丹注意到各种文化之间存在育儿观差异，更不用说“完美”家长标准的差异，但她认为育儿观不应该按国家而论。
She does note discrepancies between being a parent, let alone a “perfect” parent, in various cultures, but she does not feel that one idea of parenting is something that should be blanketed over a country.
奥斯汀回忆称，她曾碰到一名刚刚从中国移民加拿大的客户，对方急于了解加国育儿方式，一见面就心急火燎地询问她“你们哪儿是怎么教育子女的？”
Austin recalled a client of hers who had just moved to Canada from China. The client anxiously asked her, “How do you do it (parenting) here?” .
奥斯汀称，她曾告诉许多家庭，他们应该以最适合自己孩子的教育方式养育子女，无论其是根植于国外传统，是受新文化启发，还是两者兼而有之。
Austin said she told the family that they should raise their child based on what felt right for them individually – whether that was rooted in traditions abroad, being inspired by a new culture – or both.
奥斯汀称：“是因为他们刚刚来到这里，他们非常感恩能来到加拿大，因此希望尽快适应并开始新生活。他们因为各种原因来到这里，他们选择逃离中国但同时也希望轻松融入新生活。”
“They werebecause they just came here and they were so grateful to be able to come to Canada that they wanted to sort of fit in and start a new life. They came here for various reasons, to escape some stuff that was going on in China but they also want to integrate easily,” said Austin.
奥斯汀同时表示：“当人们来到异国他乡时，总是会想要了解当地的情况，以及自己该如何适应新环境。”
“When people come to a different country they want to know what’s in here and how I am going to fit in.”
“完美”家长与其说是个人目标，还不如说是对社会压力的反应。
It seems the “perfect” parent is not as much a personal goal as it is a reaction to societal pressure.
奥斯汀称：“当每个人都试图达到一个目标时，你也会疯狂地追逐这个目标。而当你无法实现目标时，你就会拼尽全力让自己时刻保持完美。”
“Everyone is trying toget to this one placeand you’re just going to drive yourself crazy trying to reach it. You’re just going to exhaust yourself trying to be perfect all the time when you just can’t be,” said Austin.
上述三位母亲都已经看到育儿方式的改变，并打算跟上时代变迁的步伐，而一些移民家庭对此也深有同感。
All three mothers saw that parenting is changing and is going to keep changing with the times,and in some families, with a new country.
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